Halloween is just around the corner has me thinking about the scariest parts about planning your wedding! Here’s the top 6 I could think of. If you have more, I’d love to read them in the comments below!!!
- The moment you realize it’s real!
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how much you’re completely in love with your partner! There is a moment that hits all of us like a brick in your stomach, that this is ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!! You may not be the one that questions if he or she is the right one (although it is perfectly ok and normal to do so), but you will have the Holy Guacamole feeling that you are actually getting married, and will be starting a permanent life tied to someone else! It’s a BFD, Big Freakin’ Deal! It’s ok to feel whatever you feel in this moment! For me, I was uncontrollably crying at everything for a good 24 hours and I couldn’t sleep! I was excited and overwhelmed with gratitude and anxiety all at the same time! Tip for making it through: Think of all the amazing couples you know. They once felt exactly the same way, but they did it and are still doing it!!! Then, picture your life together in 5, 10, and 50 years from now! Make some relationship goals. Don’t write them down or speak them out loud, just Day Dream! Someday, you’ll remember those day dreams and know that the crazy emotions you felt back then were just that, crazy emotions!
2. Analyzing your financial situation
Especially if you don’t already live together, this is going to get nuts! Going through and analyzing what you make each month and how much you spend each month normally is likely to be stressful. But it’s a chance to be transparent, open, and honest with yourself and your partner, and will help you to start your life together. This is great practice for when you are actually married and fully financially bound to each other. Build your relationship at this moment with teamwork and a sense that you’re in this together! Figure out what you each have in savings already and how much you can realistically put aside each month to pay for the wedding.
3. Asking family for money
Asking someone for money is never easy. But especially when you realized just how much weddings cost, and how much you’re going to be asking of other family members to pitch in, is a scary thought! Some couples get extremely lucky, and their parents/relatives will come to them with a lump sum dollar amount. If you are among the majority of couples that this doesn’t happen to, you’ll likely have to bring the conversation up yourselves. This can be awkward! My best advice: schedule a sit down talk with each set of parents. Do it over a meal (whether you take them out or cook them dinner in your home). Food makes everything easier! Begin talking about your (reasonable) ideas for the wedding. Keep it general! Ask them for their ideas on what is important to THEM be included at your wedding. Then ask them if they can pitch in to pay for or help pay for those specific things that are important to them! If they come back to you and say they would love to invite a few of their friends, say we would love that, but we will need some help paying for the extra per person costs like food/bigger venue space/etc.. Or if it’s important that you have a traditional wedding cake, ask them to pitch in for that, since you were thinking of only doing a lite dessert buffet to keep costs down.
4. Putting down your first deposit
This is for REAL! You are now monetarily bound to hosting a wedding event! For most couples, the first deposit and contract signed is going to be your venue. Venue’s are rarely the cheapest thing on your list of stuff to pay for. So get ready and prepare yourself for the spending to begin. After all, not all the money is spent at the end of your engagement, about 30-50% of you budget will be upfront costs. The remaining amount will be due at the end. My advice: go to a local credit union, and search for a wedding account or low interest credit card to put your deposits on. Often times, credit accounts will give you access to checks too, in case a vendor only accepts check.
5. Standing up for what YOU want
Even though you may need to ask family members to pitch in for what is important to them, it is even more important to remember that you have the ultimate Veto power! It is You and Your Fiancé’s wedding day after all! This WILL NOT be evident without a fight or two. One: It is important to have each other’s back! When mom says something to offend your fiancé, you need to stand up for your partner. When someone is pushing too hard for something that you or your partner do NOT want as a part of your day, you need to stand up and say no. Being engaged is where creating boundaries between your extended family and your newly created family begins! If you want a small and intimate ceremony, make that known in the beginning, and DO NOT waiver. Become a united front to defend your wedding dreams!
6. The dreaded Seating Chart
Uh, this is probably one of the most difficult and stressful things to have to plan. It has to be done in the last two weeks of planning, because you have to wait for the final RSVPs to roll in. My advice: get a buffet menu, so you don’t have to assign individual seats. Assign tables and let people figure it out from there. Or just say screw it, and let people find their own seats. I know that’s not very etiquette-friendly of me to say, but seriously! If people don’t want to sit next to each other, they will make sure not to sit next to each other! If they do, then they will! If people walk to a table, and there aren’t enough seats, it’s a party, people will make room. If you’re already over budget and over stressed, just don’t worry about it. If you want to organize it and not stress out to the max with only one week to spare before your big day, assign people tables and make an escort display to post at the entrance of the reception. Done! If you’re having assigned seats with assigned meal selections, hire a planner to walk you through the process- I wish you the best of luck!!!
What has been the scariest thing for you in your planning journey? Leave me a comment below 😉
If you need some help keeping stress levels down, let’s meet over coffee and sugar to chat! Just go to the contact tab, and send me a quick email with your questions!