Halloween is just around the corner has me thinking about the scariest parts about planning your wedding! Here’s the top 6 I could think of. If you have more, I’d love to read them in the comments below!!!
- The moment you realize it’s real!
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how much you’re completely in love with your partner! There is a moment that hits all of us like a brick in your stomach, that this is ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!! You may not be the one that questions if he or she is the right one (although it is perfectly ok and normal to do so), but you will have the Holy Guacamole feeling that you are actually getting married, and will be starting a permanent life tied to someone else! It’s a BFD, Big Freakin’ Deal! It’s ok to feel whatever you feel in this moment! For me, I was uncontrollably crying at everything for a good 24 hours and I couldn’t sleep! I was excited and overwhelmed with gratitude and anxiety all at the same time! Tip for making it through: Think of all the amazing couples you know. They once felt exactly the same way, but they did it and are still doing it!!! Then, picture your life together in 5, 10, and 50 years from now! Make some relationship goals. Don’t write them down or speak them out loud, just Day Dream! Someday, you’ll remember those day dreams and know that the crazy emotions you felt back then were just that, crazy emotions!
2. Analyzing your financial situation
Especially if you don’t already live together, this is going to get nuts! Going through and analyzing what you make each month and how much you spend each month normally is likely to be stressful. But it’s a chance to be transparent, open, and honest with yourself and your partner, and will help you to start your life together. This is great practice for when you are actually married and fully financially bound to each other. Build your relationship at this moment with teamwork and a sense that you’re in this together! Figure out what you each have in savings already and how much you can realistically put aside each month to pay for the wedding.
3. Asking family for money
Asking someone for money is never easy. But especially when you realized just how much weddings cost, and how much you’re going to be asking of other family members to pitch in, is a scary thought! Some couples get extremely lucky, and their parents/relatives will come to them with a lump sum dollar amount. If you are among the majority of couples that this doesn’t happen to, you’ll likely have to bring the conversation up yourselves. This can be awkward! My best advice: schedule a sit down talk with each set of parents. Do it over a meal (whether you take them out or cook them dinner in your home). Food makes everything easier! Begin talking about your (reasonable) ideas for the wedding. Keep it general! Ask them for their ideas on what is important to THEM be included at your wedding. Then ask them if they can pitch in to pay for or help pay for those specific things that are important to them! If they come back to you and say they would love to invite a few of their friends, say we would love that, but we will need some help paying for the extra per person costs like food/bigger venue space/etc.. Or if it’s important that you have a traditional wedding cake, ask them to pitch in for that, since you were thinking of only doing a lite dessert buffet to keep costs down.
4. Putting down your first deposit
This is for REAL! You are now monetarily bound to hosting a wedding event! For most couples, the first deposit and contract signed is going to be your venue. Venue’s are rarely the cheapest thing on your list of stuff to pay for. So get ready and prepare yourself for the spending to begin. After all, not all the money is spent at the end of your engagement, about 30-50% of you budget will be upfront costs. The remaining amount will be due at the end. My advice: go to a local credit union, and search for a wedding account or low interest credit card to put your deposits on. Often times, credit accounts will give you access to checks too, in case a vendor only accepts check.
5. Standing up for what YOU want
Even though you may need to ask family members to pitch in for what is important to them, it is even more important to remember that you have the ultimate Veto power! It is You and Your Fiancé’s wedding day after all! This WILL NOT be evident without a fight or two. One: It is important to have each other’s back! When mom says something to offend your fiancé, you need to stand up for your partner. When someone is pushing too hard for something that you or your partner do NOT want as a part of your day, you need to stand up and say no. Being engaged is where creating boundaries between your extended family and your newly created family begins! If you want a small and intimate ceremony, make that known in the beginning, and DO NOT waiver. Become a united front to defend your wedding dreams!
6. The dreaded Seating Chart
Uh, this is probably one of the most difficult and stressful things to have to plan. It has to be done in the last two weeks of planning, because you have to wait for the final RSVPs to roll in. My advice: get a buffet menu, so you don’t have to assign individual seats. Assign tables and let people figure it out from there. Or just say screw it, and let people find their own seats. I know that’s not very etiquette-friendly of me to say, but seriously! If people don’t want to sit next to each other, they will make sure not to sit next to each other! If they do, then they will! If people walk to a table, and there aren’t enough seats, it’s a party, people will make room. If you’re already over budget and over stressed, just don’t worry about it. If you want to organize it and not stress out to the max with only one week to spare before your big day, assign people tables and make an escort display to post at the entrance of the reception. Done! If you’re having assigned seats with assigned meal selections, hire a planner to walk you through the process- I wish you the best of luck!!!
What has been the scariest thing for you in your planning journey? Leave me a comment below 😉
If you need some help keeping stress levels down, let’s meet over coffee and sugar to chat! Just go to the contact tab, and send me a quick email with your questions!
Happy Planning!
-xo, Juliette
Congratulations! You just got a new ring 😉 The question everyone will immediately start asking you is, “so, when’s the wedding???” So naturally, you will think that the first thing you need to do is Set a Date. HOLD ON A MINUTE! There are very important steps that come before you circle a date on the calendar. First thing you need to do is enjoy the fact that you just got engaged to the person you have been dreaming about your whole life! Enjoy this blissful state for a few days, weeks, months (whatever you feel comfortable with), then move onto these 3 crucial first steps you have to do BEFORE you set that wedding date!
Uncomfortable as it might be, you have to get this established before you do anything else. If you end up on a smaller than average budget, opting for a Sunday or Weekday to host your event will save you some serious cash. Also, if you elect a month that is considered “off season” for your particular climate, vendors will be more willing to play with the idea of discounts! If you jump the gun and choose a Saturday in the middle of June as your date, the demand is high, and you will find that vendors will have a hard time justifying a discount. Of course there are perks to that time of year, and a lot of perks to choosing a Saturday date. However, weighing the pros and cons on this list come after figuring out how much money you have to work with!
Figure out who is willing to help with the expenses of the wedding. Hash it out with your parents, your fiance’s parents, grandparents, and your partner! Figure out a ball park estimate of how much you will have to spend, and who you can expect to be writing the check. Don’t feel discouraged if it ends up being you and your love! Many a wonderful wedding have been paid for by the couple. If this is the case, take the opportunity to make it completely about what you guys want! Your own money, means that you have 100% decision making power! If other people want to offer their two cents when it comes to what food you should serve, or what you should wear, then they can do just that (offer their two cents + how ever much their opinion is going to cost the budget!) For more help on how to create your wedding budget, read the article here, or Pin it and read it later!
At the budget talk with your parents, ask them for their list! This is a list of family members, and family friends that your parents would like to be invited. Combine these lists with your own list of family and friends that you want there. At this point, you can take a pencil to the list your parents gave you to make some edits, but refrain from permanently marking anyone off the list until it gets closer to the time to send out the invites, just trust me on this one! You may have not seen your second cousin twice removed since you were two, but for some reason your mother thought of her. This doesn’t mean you have to invite everyone on the list right now! Once you get into the real planning, you will find things that will restrain the number of guests that you can actually invite (venue capacity, per person costs, etc). Let those issues be the reason you have to make “sacrifices” to the guest list.
For now, you just need a rough estimate. Gather your lists, pencil out the people you don’t think will make the cut, temporarily edit the people you don’t think will travel, and highlight your top 10% (your VIPs). When setting your date, you want to take into account what you know about your top 10%’s schedules. If you know that you want your brother to be your officiant, you better take into account that he starts his year abroad at school in London on September 3rd. I am NOT telling you to take into account everyone’s here and there’s, You will drive yourself crazy! Only look at your top 10%. You won’t be able to please everyone, it’s virtually impossible!!! So don’t beat yourself up about it, and DO NOT let anyone guilt you. It’s not their wedding! At the end of it all, what matters is that you and your fiance get married and are happy!
Venue’s schedules fill up fast, especially in San Diego. There are some that book 2 years in advance for Saturday dates! Before you start your search, narrow the style of venue you are looking for. What is so amazing about San Diego is that there is so much variety. Do you want your toes in the sand? or do you want woodsy wonderland? or maybe a rustic ranch complete with horses and hiking trails? Choosing the right location can minimize the amount of decor you need to supply. There are so many naturally beautiful venue’s to choose from, so don’t feel confined to a hotel ballroom or meeting hall. Once you have narrowed down your choices, contact the ones you are interested in. Inquire about availability! Price and maximum capacity are also good things to ask for up front. This information will also help you to narrow your search. The venue should be the first thing that you book!
Once you have the venue booked, then you know your wedding date.
It is always good to narrow down your date selection to a season, or a couple of good months that would work for you. But be open to different dates until you put down your first deposit! That’s the key! If you have a specific date set before you do the above 3 steps, you may be making phone calls and announcements to let everyone know that the date has changed. There are those family members who will buy a plane ticket at the first mention of your wedding (you know who they are!). So spare them the hassle of having to reschedule their travel plans, and when they ask, “So, when’s the big day” just say, oh sometime this fall, we’ll let you know when!
A warm WELCOME to all newly engaged ladies and gents! This blog is specifically designed to help you plan your wedding. I post frequently about tips and tricks to help you along your planning journey, helping you to save some money, and DIYing things in the process. If you would like to be included in my newsletter (0nly once per month, I promise) please fill out the email form below. Also, I didn’t mention it above, but now is also the time to start looking for wedding planners (if you want one). My services are designed with the DIY bride in mind, and still allow you to have a hand in planning your wedding, while receiving the guidance of a professional wedding planner. Please contact me if this is something you are interested in learning more about!
As always, Happy Planning!!!
Hi Everyone!
This week I am in Las Vegas at the Wedding MBA conference!!! I’m so stoked for all the awesome stuff I’m learning so far, and the amazing people I’m meeting.
If you don’t already, follow me on Instagram to see what I’m up to and what I’m learning this week.
Today, is seminars on SEO for wedding professionals and 6 classes back to back about Wedding Planning! I can’t wait to put into practice what I learn at this awesome conference!
Special Thanks to my Husband and other family members that are pitching in/staying home with Addy while I’m away! It takes a village to be a small business owner!!! So Thank you!!!
<3 Juliette